An insecure girl

The world has this crazy concept about how a woman should look. If they (i.e. the people in this world, most definitely the media) don't directly tell you to look a certain way, they suggest it to you by slipping some ideas into your head. They perpetuate this mentality that 'beauty' equals to appearance and almost always discard the importance of character, behaviour and intelligence.

Ladies. We were (generally) made to be kind, compassionate, and loving creatures, to name but a few. But the recipe to create a woman also includes jealousy and insecurity among other things. This is inevitable. More often than not, we see jokes about overprotective and jealous girlfriends on social media and the reason why they're so funny is that there's an element of truth in them. It's normal to be jealous. Some people get more jealous than others and it's not wrong – everyone's created differently. Different strengths and weaknesses.

Just be careful not to hurt or kill anyone who flirts with your boyfriend.

Anyway, back to my point. We see the things fed to us by the media everyday and eventually develop our own ideas of how we should look like. We get jealous of another girl's looks. We're so obsessed with physical perfection, we practically splurge on products that can make us look better. I'm definitely not excused from this.

When we're not in our best state of mind, some thoughts linger in our minds when we lie down in bed and keep us awake until the wee hours in the morning.

"Why am I not as pretty as her."

"Why can't I be taller."
"Her eyes are so beautiful. I wish mine were too."

"Why don't I have nicer hair."
"My cheeks are so chubby."

"Why am I not skinnier."

"Why am I too skinny."
"My nose is too big."

"Why do I have these stretch marks."
"I hate these dark circles under my eyes."

"Why isn't my smile as pretty as hers."
"My skin is horrible."

The worst thing is that these insecurities will come attacking all at once. We find things to hate about ourselves without realising that it's these things that we have to be thankful for. It's dangerous because we easily forget the things we've been blessed with. Whenever you complain about your hair, remember that some chemotherapy patients would give anything to have their hair back. When you complain about not having a thigh gap or whatever it is that some people are so concerned about, remember that it means that you have legs. Legs are given to you to enable you to walk, not so that you can compare the size of your thighs to other people's.

It's easy to feel insecure about yourself. It's easy to feel inadequate. But you don't have to be the prettiest girl on the planet to be worthy of love and appreciation. You don't have to be a size 2, or have the nicest hair, or wear the most expensive clothes, or have porcelain skin. These things are nice to have, but they're not the most important things in life. Don't let these obsessions cloud your judgement and diminish your self-worth.

Stop looking for appreciation and acceptance in all the wrong places. If you try to fulfil society's idea of beauty, you'll never be happy. Beauty is not meant to be objective; it has always been subjective. It's in the eye of the beholder – weren't we taught this saying when we were still too young to understand it? Someone somewhere thinks you're beautiful just as you are. Despite your uneven skin tone, your messy eyebrows, your crooked smile, the blemishes on your face, the pimples that keep popping out in the most obvious places. Despite all the 'flaws' that you keep trying to hide under your makeup.

Whenever the insecurities hit you and you feel down in the dumps, count your blessings. God has bestowed you with things that you didn't even deserve in the first place – so why dismiss all of that and complain about a few things you're unhappy about? Don't let these things get to you and make you ungrateful. You have so much to be thankful for, it's insane.

"Which then of the bounties of your Lord will you deny?"

I write this post more as a reminder to myself than anyone else. I have days where I feel so bothered by how I look. Sometimes I remember the things that people say to me and I feel so sad. I usually look like I don't mind whenever someone points out my (physical) flaws, but to be perfectly honest, most times, it hurts a little bit. Naturally I never tell this to people because I don't want them to know that their comment upset me.

But I've learnt (and am still learning) to accept my flaws and embrace my insecurities. I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable in my own skin. I still have those bad days, but it's easier now for me to shake it off and keep my chin up. I realise that it's not just about being accepted by others in spite of your flaws. It's more about accepting yourself and your flaws.

Besides, God has given me so much in my life to be thankful for. I'm spoiled with the good things and am humbled by the bad. Alhamdulillah. I saw this saying on Tumblr once and I keep it close to my heart to this day: "You think you're down on your luck, when really, you're blessed beyond means."

Don't let the world make you feel ugly and inadequate. Beauty is more than just appearances. Chin up, buttercup!