It's getting tiring to see this "holier-than-thou" attitude when I scroll past a Malaysian celebrity's picture and see the rude and condescending comments underneath it. Honestly. Aren't you people tired of starting a feud with someone you barely even know? I'm all for advising people about the right things – honestly, I do it so much that some of my friends even call me their (naggy) counsellor – but advising has to be done in the right manner.
It will never ever go down well if you give someone an 'advice' in an arrogant, 'Listen to me, I'm way better than you' kind of way. Especially when it comes to religious matters. It upsets me when people feel that they have the right to bash a person on the basis that 'it's the right thing to say'. Your reason here does not justify the way in which you're getting the message across.
Some of you might know why I'm writing about this matter, but let's not name names. I'm writing this because I'm so frustrated by the way people are portraying Islam and its teachings. I'm not a scholar, nor am I the best image of a Muslim. But I am human, I am a girl, and I have feelings, just as other girls do. If you knew how hurtful it is to read impertinent comments that concern your dignity in one way or another, you wouldn't wish it upon anyone, let alone inflict it on others.
I know this is a sensitive topic for a lot of people, but I feel like I need to address it and I hope this post will be able to talk some sense into those involved.
First of all, yes, it's wajib for a woman to cover up. This was not ordained by the prime minister or an ustaz, not by the state council, not by Islamic scholars. This is an order from God. Are we clear on that? Yes? Good.
Secondly, yes, it's important to remind our loved ones about their obligations and responsibilities towards their deen. BUT. We need to do this tastefully, accordingly, and kindly. Reminders and advice need to be gentle. It can be likened to holding someone's hand as you guide them down a path, especially if the path is new to them. You can't yank someone's arm and tell them to follow you without expecting some degree of objection, now, can you?
You need to understand this: Islam is not spread by the sword. It can't be forced upon others. If you use force and harsh words to impose Islamic teachings on others, it won't pull them any closer to Islam. It will only drive them away. I've heard many such stories and it's heartbreaking to know that some people's hearts have come so close to Islam, only to be chased away in the other direction by a fellow Muslim.
If you see someone close to you dressing in a way that is not appropriate by Islamic standards and you feel somewhat responsible to advise them, do so with their best interests in mind, not yours. Don't ambush them. Before you advise someone, ask yourself: Is this for their betterment, or your arrogance and pride? The answer lies in how you do it. Yes, your point is valid: berdosa kalau tak tutup aurat. But if you hurt someone's feelings and put them to shame, and start a feud (which usually ensues in most cases), tu pun berdosa jugak kan? If you have nothing nice to say, be silent. The Prophet (pbuh) taught us that.
It's ironic how some people think that they can 'guide' someone to the right path by giving harsh and horrifyingly rude comments. And then they justify their rudeness by saying, "I'm only saying what is right, why can't you just accept the truth?" Oh my gosh. Get off your high horse, please.
We need to remember that advice is best given sincerely, and a sincere advice is best given gently, as I've said before, and personally, so as to not embarrass the person in front of others. If you bash someone publicly about not fulfilling their obligations as a Muslim and claim to be giving a legit advice; you're not fooling anyone but yourself. Your argument just backfired right there.
Stop embarrassing yourselves. Stop. Defaming. Islam. Islam is a beautiful religion, and your atrocious behaviour is preventing people from seeing the beauty of it. I'm absolutely terrified by the thought that I could repel some people from Islam because of my own behaviour. Nauzubillah. I pray that Allah always guides our conduct so that we will never give Islam a bad name.
So guys, please. Think before you say anything. Be sincere. Be nice. Be kind. I'm not condoning something that is wrong. What's wajib is still wajib. But that topic is for another day. Right now, what's bothering me so much is how people are sooo eager to appear as the 'better person' (ironically) by picking at other people's sins, with a magnifying glass some more. Aren't we supposed to be in this together? One body, one ummah? I really hope I made sense and that what I'm trying to convey will get through to you. I think all of us need to take a step back and reflect upon this.
Islam is not about “we're better than you”, Islam is about “let me show you something that is better for you.”
– Nouman Ali Khan
Have a nice day, everyone.
