My 21st

Birthdays aren't really a big thing in my family. We stopped having birthday parties a long time ago, and ever since then they've been more of a family affair. Usually we'd just cut the cake after dinner, all clad in our pyjamas, and take a few pictures for keepsake before getting our birthday present(s). After that everyone pretty much goes about their own business: dad watches TV, mum helps the little ones with their homework, I eat the cake, etc. Sometimes we'd go out for a family dinner over the weekend, but nothing fancy schmancy.

So when I couldn't be with my family on my birthday this year, I admit that I had felt a little lost on the days running up to it. 4 days before my birthday (on my dad's birthday), dad asked me what my plan was for my 21st. I just shrugged and said, "I don't know, I'll probably just stay at home and study." My heart sank a tiny bit as I said so and I realised how much I wished I could celebrate my 21st at home and cut my cake in my pyjamas with the family.

Any other person would have planned a day out with their pals or something, but everyone's in the midst of exam season and I didn't want to bother them. Plus, I thought it would be a bit sad to be the one to invite people out to celebrate my birthday. I had too much pride for that (pfft).

So, unsurprisingly, I woke up on the 24th of May to an empty apartment with no plans for the day ahead. I lay in my bed for a while longer and went through the routine of checking my email, replying WhatsApp messages, and going on Instagram. Anusha then contacted me and asked if I wanted to go out for lunch with her. She suggested a fine-dining Vietnamese restaurant at first, but I don't eat Vietnamese food, so we went with her second suggestion: The Breakfast Club in Islington. I invited Awad to come along too.

We agreed to meet up at the venue, and Anusha and I arrived there to find a queue formed outside. While we were waiting, Paan and Zain showed up – Anusha had invited them without telling me, but the so-called surprise got busted when the waitress had approached us in line and asked how many people would be joining, haha (kudos to her for the attempt nonetheless). A little while later Awad appeared. We had to wait forever for a table and it was so sunny outside!

After about an hour of waiting, we finally got hold of a table (and I got a tan line on my face). All of us were super hungry by then. We ordered up and started to play games and had conversations that jumped from one topic to another – as per usual. I had a really good time and I owe it all to these people right here.

Had a lovely time, special thanks to this girl!

After lunch I rushed home for a FaceTime sesh with my parents. Dad said the concierge was supposed to pass me something – which kind of surprised me, because I didn't expect anything from my family at all. They'd sent me the most beautiful bouquet of tulips I've ever seen, along with a transparent cylindrical vase and a teddy bear. I couldn't have been happier, because literally an hour before that I was just thinking that I needed to buy flowers for the apartment.

Aren't they beautiful?!

Love love love the colours!

Meow has a new friend now; Oscar.

I didn't get to talk to my parents much though; we had to keep our conversation short because it was already late in Malaysia. Boo timezone :( after we'd said our goodbyes I quickly arranged the tulips in the vase before heading out again to meet Iezah for dinner at Tukdin.

It was kinda funny because it was really rather random and spontaneous. She'd contacted me via Instagram in the morning and said she was alone in London for the day. We'd never properly met each other before and I didn't have any dinner plans, so I thought why not. We talked for ages over dinner before realising that 2 hours had passed. Tsk tsk, girls.

That pretty much sums up my first birthday in London, away from home. Simple and sweet, just the way I like it. I'm so grateful that I have such good friends who can make even the smallest of things (or people, hehe) feel special. Alhamdulillah.

Sometimes you think you don't have any plans, but God always does.

I put the 'pro' in procrastination

I am definitely the queen of procrastination. Really. I wish I didn't have so many lazy bones inside my body (sure, blame your skeletal system) but I find myself constantly putting work off. It's really unhealthy. I always get my work done, of course, no matter what. The only problem is that more often than not, I begin my work later than I can. Not later than I should, later than I can.

Sometimes when a deadline is still far off, but I happen to have time in my hands, I'd think "Hey, maybe I should get a head start on this assignment. Well begun is half done." But of course, of course I'll only end up watching a show or a movie. The same applies to studying for a class test or an exam. It's such a bad habit. I need to divert all this energy and channel it into something more productive and beneficial. Like, reading about the economy, technology, politics... Blergh. Or just actually doing my work. Obviously.

I always see hardworking people who are always on top of their game, and they're so admirable and... wow. Especially those inspiring women who can juggle so many things in their lives and still have time to have a little bit of fun. I realise though that at the end of the day, everyone gets the same 24 hours. It's how you manage those hours that differentiates what you achieve. Time management. That's something that I have yet to master. But I will, soon. InsyaAllah.

I know that it's rather too late to be taking baby steps in this department (gentle reminder that you're a university student, Fatin, not a high school student anymore), but if I push myself too much too fast, I am absolutely sure that it'll only take a split second for me to snap back into my old (current) habits. Hence I'll take it easy.

Starting from tomorrow.

Back again

I'm back on Blogger after about 4 years. I've been thinking about blogging again for quite a while. Reading Asma' and Vivy's blogs (among others) just made me miss rambling on and on about petty things in my life.

Or maybe I just needed another way to procrastinate.