Super belated wedding post

As proof that I am a horrible horrible blogger, I just found an incomplete blogpost from months ago; but (if I may toot my own horn) it was quite a nice story so I'm just going to shamelessly finish it off and publish it on the blog.

Just pretend that you're reading this in January okay. Hehe.

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A few weeks ago, one of my relatives made my day (actually, my entire weekend) with a very simple text. It said:

"I've got my man now, insyaAllah, but I need my girls too. Will you be my bridesmaid?"

Up until now, I've had cousins who'd gotten married and I was of course involved in the whole preparation running up to the weddings themselves, but I've never really been a proper bridesmaid before. And none of my close friends are getting married yet, so technically my application to be their dulang girl is still pending (indefinitely). So you can probably tell how thrilled I am about my first official bridesmaid duty. Matching dresses and everything! Suuuuuper stoked!!

I love love love family weddings, albeit all the chaos and stress that come with them. The prep usually drives me mad but after everything's over, I'm always left feeling so satisfied and content and sooo full of love and gratitude for my family. Family time is always a good time, so I'm very very excited for this coming wedding.

Anyway, speaking of weddings!

This brings me to my other winter break activity that I was gonna write about. I went back to KL for a short while in December for my cousin's wedding. The wedding took up one whole weekend – there were 5 events altogether. Friday afternoon was the nikah, Friday night was the Henna Night, Saturday afternoon was the reception on the bride's side, Saturday night we had a maulid at my uncle's house, and, finally, the groom's reception (our side) on Sunday afternoon.

I didn't attend the nikah nor the bride's reception, but there were still wedding stuff that I had to help with during those times. Just listing them down is bringing back the exhaustion of that weekend!

Ladies' Night

On Friday night, we had the Henna Night (aka Ladies' Night) at a hotel in KL. It's pretty weird to call it that because in the Malay culture, Henna Night (i.e. malam berinai) literally means drawing henna on the bride's hands, but in Arab culture, it has nothing to do with henna at all. So I'm really not sure how it got the name, haha. Basically the ladies dress up in fancy outfits and get together to celebrate the bride, so it's more like a bachelorette party. My girl cousins, Najwa, and I got ready at the hotel in the evening. Helped each other with hair and makeup and it was so so much fuuunnn, because we rarely get to do this together! It was chaotic of course, since we easily outnumbered the jamban and the mirrors in the room. I ended up doing my makeup in the friggin' bathtub k guys hahaha because the wall by the tub was covered by a huge mirror (thank God for that!). A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. #dedication

Since it was an all-ladies event, we weren't allowed to use our phones and cameras in the hall to protect everyone's privacy. This way nobody would feel unsafe or uncomfortable to 'uncover' themselves and have a good time. So sadly, we don't have any nice pictures of our outfits from that night! No squad pictures with the cousins either :(((

I'll just put a couple of pictures of what I wore that night:

The hooded robe that I wore over my 'party outfit'

We had a fantastic night though! There were some performances and of course there was food, and my goodness, was there dancing! It was such great fun to see little girls as young as 3 years old jumping along to the music, but even more so to dance with our aunts! To be honest that was really why we don't have any pictures – everyone was so busy dancing, nobody even remembered about taking pictures.

That night I also added a new milestone in my life: I danced the night away in 5-inch heels!! (They were the very same heels that I once tripped in, and then fell smack on my butt in front of a bunch of strangers. So yes, big achievement! I gotta update my CV.)

The Day After

After our long night of glamour and fun, our Saturday was anything but. I got up super early in the morning, got ready and packed my stuff. Once Najwa and my cousins were all set too, we checked out of our rooms and went home to send our overnight bags and have breakfast. Soon after, I had to drive straight to Putrajaya with Najwa and Maryam to help out with wedding errands. By that time we were all still pretty dead from the night before hahaha.

The heat was unbearable that day, which did little to help, but the sky was a brilliant blue and my heart swelled for the city that I call my first home.

It was a super duper long day but it was alright because we got kambing panggang and roti jala that night after the maulid. Big win.

The Reception

The last event of the weekend and the most tiring event ever. Ever!!! The reception was held at my uncle's house and we were expecting more than 1000 guests. I'm not kidding. When I found out about the size of the guest list, I thought my cousin had been joking. So gila!

People started coming at 11am. Masa tu makeup semua masih on point tapi masa tu jugak la matahari nak naik and cairkan segala usaha keras kita. And while the makeup was melting off our faces, us cousins were all busy being handed our tasks for the day.

This part is very, very important. Pro tip: when working at a wedding, get one solid task that you'll have to stick with for the rest of the day. It might be boring, but at least it's something. This is where I'd gone wrong. I didn't have a solid duty for the day and I ended up doing errands and getting tasks from left right and center! The best task I got that day was when I was almost melting off the face of the earth and my cousin suddenly pulled me aside and asked me to guard the wedding cake in a car that had the aircond on full blast.

My cousins and I were moving around so much at the wedding that, again, we didn't have that many pictures of us together which was quite a bummer. My cousin (sister of the groom) has a company for event planning now and she was the one who set up the tent and pelamin and everything. It's not the best idea to plan your own brother's wedding though... She didn't sleep for a whole week and when we arrived at her house that Sunday morning, she was still in her pyjamas setting things up. So gila (part 2). But she did a great job 'cause everything looked so cantik.













Actually, when the reception was going on, I barely saw my cousins because we were all attending to our own crises. Najwa had to deal with kids at the candy station (imagine the horror). Syira had to deal with the caterers while also greeting the guests. Paah and I were just running around doing miscellaneous tasks and getting pulled in every direction for favours. My other girl cousins were nowhere to be found so I'm pretty sure they were facing the same thing. At one point I got so fed up that I went up to my parents in exasperation and said, "UGHHH I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED."

But later in the evening when the guests have all gone back, the family gathered together under the tent and watched the guys dance the samrah (not even sure if this is the correct phrase).





I wanted to convert the videos to gifs but it wouldn't work. Sucks because it was pretty cool actually. It was so meriah but chill at the same time and I could tell that everyone was enjoying themselves. They danced for about 2 hours 'kay!! That's like a few days' worth of cardio!

And then it was back to cleaning up the scene of the crime.... That's the downside of getting married at home kan? You have to clean the house and settle the preparations, you are the host, and then after smiling and talking to 1000 guests, you clean up (you = family of the pengantin). By the end of it all we basically wanted to pengsan for 2 days.



Man, weddings sure are
e x h a u s t i n g.

There's no denying that we all had a great time, but if you ask any of us singles about where we'll want to get married, we'll all tell you the same thing:

"I don't know, anywhere but home."

My golden card

I always tell myself, you can't compare your difficulties to another person's. Everyone faces different struggles in life.

Some people have more serious problems than others, but kita kena ingat that none of these goes unnoticed by God. Every hardship that you face with faith and patience will surely earn you credit in God's eyes. The bigger the hardship, the bigger the reward.

Such is life; we were all dealt with different sets of cards. But I personally believe that everyone will have at least one golden card in their deck: something to be thankful for.

Almost every night before I go to sleep, I try to count my blessings but I always don't know where to start. It's really humbling to realise that you've been blessed in so many ways that you don't know which one to give thanks for first.

The roof above my head?

The warm bed to sleep in?

My health?

My education?

My tummy that's always hungry but also always kenyang?

It's impossible to cover everything every time so my list always changes from one night to another. But the one thing that remains a constant in all of my lists, is my family.

As I grow up and meet more people in my life (and hear more stories and watch more movies), I begin to realise that having a good family is not a right – it's a privilege. You don't get to pick what kind of family you're born into. Nobody chose to be born into a bad nor a good family. A rich or a poor family. A big or a small family. It's something that's given to you.

I always find myself wondering what is it that I did, and what I will ever do, to deserve such a blessing in this department. I mean I do fight and argue with my family members and we do give each other headaches more times than we'd like, but alhamdulillah after all the bites and scratches, the flying kicks and hair-pulling, we still love each other very very much* hahaha.

(*terms and conditions apply)

I'm also very close to my cousins on both of my parents' sides. My mum's side is quite small and we've always lived close to each other, so we're very close-knit. We gather at my grandparents' place on Fridays and the neighbours always say that it sounds like Raya on Friday nights because it's so meriah. Hahaha. We don't even do anything special; it's just dinner, TV, and we talk talk talk. And shout at the kids when they cause so much ruckus after 10pm.

My dad's side, on the other hand... we're a huge family. But even then, we practically grew up together although some of us live in different states. Because I don't get to see my paternal cousins as much as I do my maternal cousins, it's always a treat when we do see them.

I always look forward to family gatherings, even if it's just over breakfast at our family's favourite nasi lemak place. Family events are a big thing for me. Really. I've cried several times for missing out on gatherings hahaha. Crybaby™.

I used to take it for granted that it's a normal thing to be very close to one's cousins, but the more stories I hear from friends, the more I realise that it's not always the case. Some people don't really talk to their cousins and some don't even know them that well. I've had people tell me that it's so nice how close I am to mine, especially considering how many of us there is. Some people even think we're siblings because we're so close. It's usually comments like these that make me realise that this is more than just a norm.

I've learnt that not everyone has a good relationship with their (extended) families, not everyone gets love and support from their families, and not everyone looks forward to family gatherings. So if you do, let's not take it for granted.

We were all dealt with different sets of cards in life. We are tested in different ways, and we are also blessed in different ways.

As humans, we tend to focus more on the negatives and overlook the positives, so let's try to shift the focus for a change.

One of the golden cards in my deck is my family... What's yours?

Tears in the kitchen

Today as I was peeling anchovies while preparing to cook for dinner, suddenly something my uncle said a few years ago popped into my head. "Hati-hati okay makan nasi goreng? Ada tulang ikan bilis sikit dalam tu. Nenek dah tua, dia tak buang tulang betul-betul. Sorry eh?"

And just like that, I was sat at the dining table with a sudden ache in my heart, tears in my eyes, and anchovies in my hands. It's funny, how something so simple and small can conjure up a memory of what had seemed like an insignificant moment on an ordinary day.

It wasn't the first time this happened. There'd been a few times when I'd be cooking and suddenly be reminded of my late grandmother, and I'd miss her so much. Like, it would actually physically hurt. One time, the memory of her came so suddenly that it caught me off guard and I burst into tears as I was adding salt into the pot. (Don't worry, the lauk didn't turn out extra masin and my tears didn't end up in the food either.)

The kitchen just generally reminds me of her, and I don't mean it as an insult in any way. My late grandmother was an amazing cook. I know this for a fact, not only because I'm her granddaughter and I'm super biased, but also because she used to be a cook in a palace back in the days.

When it comes to cooking, she was in a league of her own. My mum told me once that Nenek could just look at the steam rising up from a pot and instantly tell if the lauk had enough salt. I've been trying to work out the science behind this by observing steam (and looking like an idiot while at it), but I still can't see the difference. I mean, steam is steam. What exactly do I look for?

My Nenek was that good, guys. God knows how many other tricks she had up her sleeve. She got mad skillz in the kitchen. That's right, skillz with a 'z'. Cucunya?

... Takpa la, takyah cerita. Tak tahu apa jadi.

I used to be so nervous at the thought of cooking for my grandmother. Just the mere thought of it was nerve-wracking enough, so I couldn't ever imagine having her actually taste the food that I cook. Now, she never will.

I know that my heart has space for a lot of things and a lot of people. But I feel like tonight, my heart only has room for her, and it's missing her terribly. If only she knew.

Hidung sumbat

Hi guys, I hope everyone's been great and well, wherever you are.

The weather in England has been really weird lately (actually, come to think of it, when is it ever not weird). It was getting quite warm at one point, warm enough to make me think that spring's finally here, and suddenly the weather decided to take a turn and it got really cold again. And not just cold, really windy too! I'm already so tired of cold wind blowing in my face. Even more tired of not being able to walk in a straight line. I'm late for class as it is! Can the wind please stop blowing me sideways!!! Or backwards!!!

I've been living in London for 3 years now and the fickleness of the weather here is still too much for me sometimes. The weather's been so bad lately, and I've got a fever to top it all off. Generally, it's not very easy for me to fall sick. Alhamdulillah it's been like that since I was much younger; even when everyone around me was getting sick, I would always be the last one standing. Earlier last week, Najwa got a fever and she was bedridden for a few days. About two days later I was coughing and my throat was starting to get sore. I thought it'd go away the day after, as it usually does, but things only went downhill afterwards.

We were both bedridden over the weekend, poppin' pills like M&M's and wearing Kool Aid on our foreheads, which, btw, does not help you look cool at all. I hadn't been that sick and weak in sooo long so it was quite a shock to the system. I was a complete vegetable! My fever was ridiculously high, I was coughing myself awake in the nights, and I was sneezing so much my nose was gonna tercampak somewhere.

Alhamdulillah both Najwa and I are feeling much better now though, we're both walking about again (around the apartment). But we're both still coughing like mad, and my nose is completely blocked. It's a weird kind of blocked right now 'cause I can breathe through my nose perfectly but I can't taste my food at all. I haven't been able to taste my food for about 4 days now. I made Maggi the other day and I couldn't even smell the curry goodness! Criiieeeessss.

This is probably a good time as any to eat as many vegetables as I don't like, since I can't taste it anyway. But then..... why eat vegetables when you're already one, right. #distortedthinking

I really just can't wait for warmer weather!!! The winter sun's been great whenever it does show up, but let's face it, it gives out very little warmth!

Anyway, take care everyone. Stay safe, warm, healthy, and hydrated xxx

In a nutshell

Ok la, I officially suck at being a consistent blogger. The last time I blogged, it was before raya puasa. It is now already after raya haji. I thought I could easily get away with it but someone reminded me that I've been absent for way too long (hehe hi Nadia).

I'd been preoccupied with so many other things since raya puasa, that blogging just didn't seem like much of a priority. My summer escape this year felt so short because I only spent 2 months back in Malaysia, and since I don't really go out in Ramadhan, that was one month gone. I spent the remaining month catching up with old friends, being clingy with my Setiawangsa babes, going to raya openhouses, while also running errands, being the driver, and everything else in between. It was quite crazy. I had plans almost everyday and I felt sooo bad because at one point, before I could even ask for my parents' permission to go out, my dad beat me to it: "Esok Fatin pergi mana pulak?" Yikes.

I came back to London around mid-August – way sooner than I was ready for. But thankfully I didn't have that long to be really sad and homesick because a week afterwards, my childhood friend, Najat, came to London for a holiday. We had a few easy days to ourselves before Raihan joined us from Bath and we went on a short trip to Edinburgh, Manchester and Chester. We had other things planned out as well until Najat flew back home. After that, Raihan and I spent a few days just lazing around at home to recover from our trip haha.

Thennn my sister came back to London, and then we went to Amsterdam pula for a few days. Came back to London and it was raya haji! And tadaaa, here I am. So there's my story in a nutshell – my justification for being away for so long. (Kena justify because I feel bad for abandoning the blog for so long.)

I'd saved my remaining free time for leisure reading, in between everything else. I always make full use of the opportunity during summer, because it's one of the things that I miss the most during term time when the assignments and workload start to pile up :( Maybe I'll write about one of the books soon enough. InsyaAllah.

There are a few other things that I want to share as well, so let's hope that I'll get to do that while I still have the time! Please don't marah me if I don't get down to it soon enough. Ampun maaf dipinta.

Till then, guys. Take good care xx

Oz

Hi. I know I said I'd write about my winter break after my exams but... Hahaha I'm sorry I got too carried away with life. Anyway. So let me tell you about what happened.

A few months back, my parents had decided to go to umrah for our December holiday. We were supposed to hand in our documents for our visa by mid-November, but with me & Najwa being all the way in London, that couldn't be done. That being the case, I thought that was it. Khalas. Another time then, insyaAllah.

Nope. The morning after we arrived home (from London), my mom woke me up and asked me to take pictures for the visa. I was like "What?!" It was already so late to submit the documents but my dad still wanted to give it a shot. I was a bit reluctant to be honest, because it was so last minute and I just wanted to stay at home for the break and study for my Jan exams. I felt a bit guilty for choosing home over Mekah. I have always wanted to go there, but given the circumstances, I just didn't feel ready. I was pretty conflicted about it. Part of me wanted to go so much, but another part of me wished that we wouldn't get to. Everything was just so rushed.

In the end, we got the visas, our bags were packed, but no flights were available. So that was that. And I thought we were just gonna stay at home for once over the holidays.

But nope.

My dad didn't want to waste his days off from work, so, long story short, 2 days later, he went to MAS' office. My mom got a call from him in the late afternoon. Saying that we should pack our things because we were going to Melbourne. The very next morning. At 10am.

?!?!?!?!!!??!!

So we had to unpack our umrah things and then pack a whole different set of clothes for Melbourne. Guys. I'd left all of my clothes in London, and my favourite jeans were in the wash. I spent the whole night trying out everything I had in my wardrobe at home, playing mix-and-match. My room looked like it'd been hit by a hurricane.

Aaanyway. Melbourne was scorching hot and dry. And very expensive, might I add. A small bottle of mineral water there is $2.80!!! I keep telling people the same thing hahaha but I just find this so absurd and unreasonable. And I thought London was already expensive. Yikes.

We didn't get to do as much as we wanted to during our stay there, sadly. Since our trip was last minute and lacked prior planning, we couldn't find any available rental cars so we pretty much went around the city using the trams.

We did very simple touristy things: went to Luna Park, St Kilda beach, the Aquarium, Melbourne Zoo, and walked around the city for a bit. The boys had brought their Penny boards with them so in the evenings we would just hang out near the apartment and watch them skate.... and also take turns skating. Even my parents had a go! Hahaha I have videos of them on the Penny but, I mean, I still need a place to stay guys.

I'd forgotten to transfer the pictures from the camera to my laptop so I'll just upload a few of the ones that I have on my phone. Which is nothing much, really.

Luna Park & St Kilda

The Aquarium

One of my favourite animals of all time

These guys are really good at pretend-candid poses 

What'd I tell you

St Kilda Pier

This is probably my favourite part of our trip. We went to St Kilda Pier to watch the penguins come up at sunset. Up to this point, I'd only ever seen penguins in huge glassed enclosures in aquariums or the zoo, so it was quite amazing to see the penguins naturally swim up to the pier, waddle their way up to the rocks and call out to their friends. Quite a lot of people were at the pier, and the penguins were shy so they mostly hid in between the rocks, which made it quite tricky to spot them.

When we read about it online, it said no photography was allowed so we didn't bother to take our DSLR. Once we got there we found out that it actually meant no flash photography. And you know how suckish the iPhone camera is in poor lighting conditions. So we only ended up with grainy pictures of the penguins.

Spot the little birdie!

The only penguin that was loving the attention

It wasn't much of an eventful trip, but family time is family time, and that's what really matters. Speaking of which.... we flew home on New Year's Eve and arrived in KL the next morning, and my cousin was getting married the day after that. In Johor.

So you know what that means.

Unpacking and packing again. Ha ha ha. Anyone who knows me well enough would know that I absolutely hate packing. I honestly felt like I was being punished for something that I didn't (kidding, I probably did) do. We had like 9 hours to get a short rest, mandi, unpack and pack again, wait for the tailor to send our outfits for the wedding, and get ready. I don't even know how my dad had managed to drive all the way to Johor. Cray.

But being with my (extended) family was really the icing on the cake la. In those 4 days I laughed like a hyena and ate like a horse, and it was so so so much fun to be with everyone. (Maybe it'll be a good story for the next story time.)

After Johor, my sister and I only had a few days before we went back to London; so yeap, more packing..... *grabs a gun*

Yeesh. In less than a month I'd packed waaay more times than I was willing to. If you ask me what I remember the most about my winter break, I'd probably say "Packing and unpacking."

I'm back where my heart is!

I'm home again! Alhamdulillah, after a very very very long journey, being at home with my family makes it all worth it.

Packing this time 'round was not so stressful because I knew what I needed to bring back: textbooks, textbooks, and more textbooks. I'll be having exams in January and I'm absolutely terrified because the class tests that we'd had for the modules pretty much killed me. I'll have to discipline myself during the holidays... which seems like an impossible feat right now... but it has to be done. One way or another. God help me.

I'd brought back 7 textbooks. Even with little else in my suitcase, it weighed 30.6kg. Dude. It was almost as heavy as I am. I had to lug the huge thing to the tube station, carry it down a flight of stairs (with Rem's help), and yank it onto the tube. Thank God I was travelling with my sister and Rem. If I was alone I'd be crying in frustration because my luggage wouldn't budge.

The flight was smooth alhamdulillah but I drifted in and out of sleep so many times that I wonder how I'd even slept in flights before this. One good thing about being petite is that I can fold myself into foetus position in the seat in economy, so basically throughout most of the 13 hours I tried to arrange myself in every angle possible to try to be comfortable. My body ached and my neck hurt, but ahhh none of it matters now because I'll be sleeping in my own bed tonight! Yay!!

When we got home just now Najwa and I were so excited because we had a little surprise for our dad from London. On Friday after class we'd gone to his all-time favourite kebab place, Taza, and packed some kebabs and the sauces to bring home. It's been a year since he last had it and I was so excited to see his reaction. When we gave it to him, the only thing he said for about 5 minutes was "Woooo!!!" Hahaha you don't understand the satisfaction that we felt. We've always struggled to figure out what gift to get him for his birthday, Father's Day, etc. Taza. Taza was the answer all along.

We did feel bad because we didn't get anything as meaningful for our mom, but we've told her that if we could bring back John Lewis for her, we would have.

I got my sambal tumis udang, which is like the favourite of all my favourites. I totally forgot that I had to control my intake of sambal until my dad pointed out that I'm gonna get sakit perut if I didn't. But of course I couldn't stop myself.

And as if the night wasn't already good enough, I got to watch the Manchester United match in HD!!! CRIES!!! One of the things that I always complain about being in London is that I don't get to watch HD football. I have to opt for livestreaming for most matches (provided that I'm even home to watch the match) and the resolution is horrible. So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I could watch my favourite team play (AND WIN) against Liverpool, with my dad and brothers, in high definition. Perfect football night.

Have you ever had those times when you just feel so grateful for everything that your heart feels like it's about to burst? Tonight was one of those times for me. Alhamdulillah :)

It's Eid!

I'm well aware that more than a week has passed since the first of Syawal but if you're a Malaysian, you would know that Malaysians make full use of the whole month to celebrate Eid. So I'd like to take advantage of this and wish everyone (however little audience this blog has) Eid Mubarak! Or as we're more accustomed to, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! 

I want to susun my sepuluh jari and ampun maaf zahir & batin for all of my wrongdoings, be it intentional/unintentional. For all the hurtful and offensive comments that so easily rolled off my tongue. The insensitive scoffs at your honest opinions. The jokes I made that you laughed at, but deep down, stung a little bit. The way I sometimes come off as egoistic and arrogant. The times I accidentally stepped on your foot without saying sorry. The times I forgot my manners. The times I'd possibly focused on pleasing another person at the expense of your feelings. The way I sometimes forget my priorities. The times when I took your food when you were really just offering me to be polite. The times when I wouldn't let you have my food. The moments when I forgot how to act like a normal humanbeing. The instances when I embarrassed you in public. And everything else that has ever hurt you or wounded your pride in any way. Minta ampun!

I hope everyone had an enjoyable Raya with your families and friends! I just looove Raya because of all the colours and the food (!!!) and just the atmosphere and togetherness that we see in this month. Hopefully none of you have gained back the kilos that you lost during Ramadhan :p but hey ease up a bit on the diet, it's not everyday that we get to eat Raya food!

Anyway, I hope all of you made full use of your time with your loved ones. As cliche as it sounds, and as hard as it can be at times, we should treasure & cherish the people around us before it's too late. Eid Mubarak again from me and my family! Taqabbal Allahu minkum! Love lots!